|
|
Overcoming Fears: Lowering The Gradient To Be Able To Meet Women And Connect With Women
Last week one of my close friends asked a question which i thought was worth discussing. He asked me how to overcome fears which pop up sometimes - even when everything is going great.
The truth is it's not at all a simple question to answer as it differs from person to person. There are literally thousands of books which have been written on that subject only. However, one of the best ways I have used to overcome my fears usually involves lowering the gradient.
What are gradients? Gradients are similar to steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you may not succeed. If you keep trying it over and over you may begin to build up a "complex" about failing, and soon not try anymore.
If you try to leap up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be frightening - not really impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences leaping that high you may fail too.
The right approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most pleasant way to climb a ladder.
Here are some examples of how I apply that to get over fears which pop up in meeting women and dating women:
As most guys do, I often go out to meet women in a social setting. Sometimes it is particularly scary. So while I am approaching a beautiful woman in a social setting, instead of telling her how gorgeous she is and how much I am attracted to her (that exposes my fear of being shot down in front of lots of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and simply say "Hi." If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will discover a way to continue the conversation. If she doesn't then i understand she has no interest in me and the simple "Hi" just appears that I am friendly - not necessarily even flirting - thus I don't feel shot down in front of many people.
If I am starting to date a girl and I feel fearful taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I will not ask her "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to chill, get cozy, and just listen to music at my house. If she doesn't want to get intimate she surely won't wish to be alone with me, getting cozy at my house. Or rather than trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will just hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to discover how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will begin touching me back to give me the go ahead signal.
These are a few examples. If you feel uncomfortable and fearful simply try to think of a lower gradient that isn't as frightening and enables you to make forward progress toward your goal. If you do this you will know how to meet women and the way to relate to them very quickly.
Are You Scared To Approach Or Meet Up With Women?
Whenever you feel uncomfortable in any situation, it means that you are approaching this situation on too high a gradient. Rather than running away from the situation, lower the gradient.
Learn How To Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend Or Boyfriend - When It Appears To Be Impossible
Are you wondering how to get back with your ex partner? There are many steps you can take with the most important one being to ask yourself are you sure this is what you want.
Get Back Your Ex By Becoming Less Reachable And An Increased Challenge
One of the most educational things you can ever do is to talk with your ex-girlfriend's closest friends to see what she was like in the earliest days of your relationship. Almost always her friends will tell you that almost all she could think about was how to make you hers.
Bad Boy Compared To Good Boy - Does Attraction Have Something To Do With Being A Bad Boy Vs A Nice Guy?
Well, we have all heard that myth - that "nice guys" lose out and the 'bad boys" attract women - but is it based in truth? Does attraction have anything to do with being a bad boy versus a nice guy?
The Truth About Neil Strauss And What You May Need To Know About The Game
Neil may be the most famous of all of these Dating Advice Guru's and his historical New York Times best seller "The Game" certainly was no scam. However, I tested his ideas and they are out of date.
Blind Date Compared To Online Date - Which Is Helpful
Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date - a friend of a friend of a friend.
Is David Deangelo A Bunk? Is Double Your Dating A Kind Of Worthless Scam?
Is David Deangelo a scam? Well, my first reaction is to say no, as he does provide a very good service to men. He really gives us a lot of useful data on how to meet women.
Just What Are The Chances Of Meeting Mr. Right Online?
The odds of finding your "soul-mate" online are a lot better than you may think. It doesn't happen for everyone, of course, but it can happen for you. The world of internet or online dating has exploded over the last few years.
Is Mr. L. Rx A Fraud? Is Dating To Relating A Kind Of Mislead?
Mr. L. Rx says somewhere on his website "Why double your dating when you can 10 x it?" And this is comparably the truth. From personal experience the order of magnitude of his technology will get you about 5 times as many women as any of the other technologies.
For Women: Mr. Perfect Does Not Exist!
The sooner you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won't find him hiding under your bed.
|
More Articles
Blogroll
|
